I’ve never been arrested but if I was, I’d absolutely assume that the police officer responsible would have to read me my rights or else the arrest wouldn’t be valid.

From there, I’d then demand my one phone call and call the lawyer I’d assume my family had. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool this guy.

Oh hold on… none of that is true.


What else that I know to be a fact isn’t true? Everything. I should stop trusting films.

1. A defibrillator will restart a stopped heart.

It’s in Casino Royale and I’d die defending that film. Seriously anybody can fight me if you don’t think Casino Royale is good.

Alas, it’s untrue, as what a defibrillator is designed to do is stop the heart, so paramedics can restart it on their own with CPR, or your body does it itself with a rush of adrenaline.

2. Knocking someone out with chloroform is easy and quick

Whenever someone asks what I would bring back to the past with me if I got sent back in time, I always smugly say chloroform so if I had to have surgery on me, I could be knocked out for it.

Apparently it’s no where near as easy as it appears on the films though, as knocking people out with drugs and other toxins is a very difficult process. Too much can kill you whilst not enough would barely do anything. Chloroform can be used but it takes much longer in real life than in the films.

3. You have to wait a day before reporting someone as missing

This one just sounds stupid.

Police stress that you absolutely must report someone going missing as soon as possible to avoid something happening to the missing person in question.

4. Lasers look really cool and whatnot

As you may know with a laser pointer that you’ve played with, you can only see them once the light hits a surface.

Every now and then you can see a beam of light but that’s mainly down to dust and such floating through the air. However, in films like Star Wars, lasers can be seen flying through space, where there’s no particles floating around – hence the lack of atmosphere.

Mind you, that’s not the least realistic thing about those films. Luke has a full time job by the time he’s 19!

5. Truth serum exists and will make you tell all

I did always wonder about this one, but then why would Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire present a magic version as something remarkable if non-magic people had the exact same technology going for them?

I digress, whilst some serums do exist they mainly act as sedatives, slowing down a person’s mental processes, making it more difficult to lie. They don’t make someone miraculously honest.

6. Silencers make gunshots more or less imperceptible to the human ear

Oh my god if anyone even thinks about insulting Casino Royale again, I will flip.

Sadly, silencers aren’t actually a thing and rather, suppressors are. Suppressors, however, are more to protect the gun-firer themselves from harming their ears, whilst also making it hard to tell, from a distance, where the gunshot came from.

Even with one fitted, a suppressed gun can still be as loud as 100 decibels, so you’d know if one was fired in the warehouse that you work as a henchman in.

I’m both smarter and stupider for learning those facts.

Life, eh?

Images via MGM, Fox, Disney