I’ll be completely honest with you here, I’m not 100% sure what CES is. As I understand after a quick Googling, it’s a convention where tech companies showcase their up and coming gadgets and vehicles and it’s all a bit of a p*ssing contest.
That’s what I’m going to tell everyone what it is now.
Anyway, with these techy conventions, all eyes are on the likes of AI. Everyone’s desperate to see what the next invention to introduce us to the descent of man will be and while my money’s on some kind of home-invasion protection kit that will apprehend intruders (but will actually shoot you from entering your own house wearing a hood), it’s looking like it will be computers that will become so self-aware that they stop listening to us and instead make more of themselves.
I say that with absolutely no technological authority whatsoever, but I’m a big fan of jumping to unfounded conclusions.
With all of that said, one situation that we don’t need to fear is the combination of a Promobot and a self-driving Tesla. As it turns out, they’re like cobras and mongooses when you put them together.
This comes after the most futuristic hit-and-run took place during CES in Nevada, when a Tesla Model S in self-drive mode unflinchingly knocked down a Promobot that had made it’s way onto the road. I suppose you really can’t hear those Teslas coming…
So little humanity. That’s how we know the robots will win. Nothing will stop them on their ascent to the top of the global hierarchy; not even feeble human emotions.
Pretty scary to think that people are always going on about driverless cars being just over the horizon and then this one, going at about 20mph, can’t even avoid a robot.
George Caldera, the man who was in the car at the time, said:
“There was nobody there, no men, no cars. I switched this Tesla into a self-driving mode and it started to move. And wow! A robot on the track!
I thought the flivver would come round, but it bumped straightly into the it! I am so sorry, the robot looks cute. And my sincere apologies to the engineers.“
Meanwhile, Oleg Kivokurtsev, Promobot’s Development Director said:
“Of course we are vexed. We brought this robot here from Philadelphia to participate at CES. Now it neither cannot participate in the event or be recovered.
We will conduct an internal investigation and find out why the robot went to the roadway.“
It’s good to know that if the robots do try to take over, they’re dangerously easy to kill. Just one minor fall onto a curb and they’re broken beyond repair.
Man, robots are idiots! I’m going on record saying that.
Come at me, droids @AlfiePowell
Images via Getty, YouTube