I live in London, in a shared property, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I’m somewhat of an authority on living with random housemates.

When I first moved to the Big Smoke I lived with a live-in landlady, and while she was a nice enough woman, I could feel her burning a hole in the back of my head every time I used the hob.

*A word of advice: never live with a live-in landlord, it’s like living with your mum.*

I’ve also been on the other side of it; recently, my flatmate and I had to advertise our spare room on the aptly titled… app, SpareRoom.

You would not believe the riff-raff you get turning up at your door; one Italian guy (I’m not discriminating here, that’s just a fact) asked if he could move in despite having no monthly income and owning a massive tarantula called Venom.

OH YEAH, PLEASE CAN YOU MOVE IN WITH YOUR MASSIVE SPIDER THAT WILL CRAWL ACROSS MY FACE AT NIGHT.

What I learned from that experience is that you have to properly vet prospective tenants, but this one woman may have taken it a step too far with her 12 Draconian rules for being her new housemate.

The list was posted to a Facebook group for French-speaking people in London, with the person posting the list admitting that he’d applied for the room at a house in Finsbury Park as he was “so baffled” by the woman’s demands.

They include insisting that the new housemate is “out of the flat on weekdays during normal hours”, doesn’t cook in the flat “before 8.30am and after 11pm” and “be someone who has friends.”

Check out the excessive list in its entirety below:

Rule 1 – Be out of the flat on weekdays

Rules 2 & 3 – Be generally quiet and use door handles (?), don’t use the phone or Skype

Rules 4 & 5 – Have good manners and speak to people, be someone who has friends and isn’t at home too much

Rules 6 & 7 -Follow the cleaning rota, it’s not a student dorm. Don’t move in if you like using the toilet/having a shower

Rules 8 & 9 – No cooking at certain times, clean up after yourself (fair)

Rules 10, 11, 12 – don’t have friends round a lot, sometimes partners are allowed to stay, nobody ‘under the influence’

The person then ends it by saying ‘I’m quite easy going’.

ARE YOU MAD?!

I bet she’s a hoot at parties.

Anyway, the list has gone viral with many people taking to Twitter to share their opinion of the rules.

I genuinely don’t know whether this person will ever find a housemate with rules as rigorous as the ones she’s outlined.

Having said that, I’d still rather live with her than the Italian bloke with the spider.

It’s the way they (spiders) move, you know?

Images via Getty/Facebook/Twitter